Friday, March 11, 2016

I Will Follow

Today I'm sitting in my room in the Mizpah hall transit while it is intermittently raining outside. I made it out on my bicycle to browse the flea market this morning but found nothing of particular interest, so I bought a few necessities (bread, peanut butter & strawberry jam) and returned home. Not long after I arrived home it began to rain again. It had also rained before I left the house this morning, but luckily there was break enough to ride my bike to town.

What does a palangi do when he's separated from his family and sitting at home waiting for the rain to pass? Well I can't answer for everyone, but for myself I've been doing a lot of thinking. I spoke with my wife Carolyn last night on skype for the first time since I left home, which has been a month and a half. But that wasn't enough. I was late for the call last night, so she went to bed. I waited up for her knowing that she would soon be getting up to get ready for bed. During that time, the 90 minutes or so that I waited for her to log on again, I came to a realization that I am dropping the ball on my end. It was I who left home for this adventure, so it must be I who assures that no meeting times are missed. Time with family is precious, especially when you are away, so I can't afford to pass any opportunity by.

So I have been in Tonga for roughly 90 days now, alone. I always took for granted that I'm a big boy, and there's nothing I can't do for myself. Well, I was wrong. I can't easily comfort myself when I'm lonely. Last year my son Tony was with me every day, so although I was separated from my wife and daughter, my son was always there. Now, there is nobody. I have friends, sure. But they can't fill the void that was caused by my ripping myself from my family to return to Tonga.

Now don't get me wrong. I do not for an instant regret coming to Tonga. I will gladly go anywhere and do anything for my Savior. Where he leads, I will follow. What I am trying to say is, this is the last time I will do things this way. I will not go alone any more. Next time I am called to travel to serve, we will go together. Until now there has always been an "escape clause", so to say. Even though they are planning to join me in about three months, Carolyn still holds her job at home, we still own our house and most of the belongings within, and we are even repairing a car that just MIGHT be worth what we spend on it for repairs. We seem to be holding on to the things we have, just in case this does not work out. Something inside me is telling me that "this is not true faith."

Now before anyone goes jumping to conclusions, no Carolyn and the kids are not regretting this soon-coming move. At least I don't think they are. I'm not trying to say that they don't want to come, or would rather stay at home. In fact, it sounds like Tony is quite jealous that I came without him this time. I think Alex, although dreading leaving her friends behind, is anxious for the new adventure too, and is ready to meet new friends. And Carolyn, while she is always the more responsible person, always thinking logically about how this is going to get paid, or what happens next, is more than ready to jump on the band wagon with me too. I think we are just inexperienced at this. We are not sure what we need and don't need. We don't know what happens when we are finished in Tonga. We don't know what we will do when this adventure is over. I have come to a new conclusion about this matter though. Once truly begun... I mean once you REALLY dedicate your heart and life to the Lord, He will NEVER be finished with you. If and when our time in Tonga is complete, it will be because there is a new destination. God wants to use us, ALL OF US. There is absolutely nobody in this world that, if he is willing, does not have a job in God's work line. If you are good at building, build for the Lord. If you are good at teaching, teach for the Lord. If you are good at driving, drive for the Lord. If you are good at cooking, cook for the Lord. If you are good at singing, sing for the Lord. If you are good at speaking, speak for the Lord. If you are only good at sitting..... Yes, that's right! If you are only good at sitting, well then... sit for the Lord. Perhaps while sitting there, something else more productive will come to mind. Perhaps your calling is to sit at the street corner handing out fliers for your pastor, advertising your church's next seminar. We just need to come to a point in our lives where we can say,

"Everything that I have is from You, Lord, so now I dedicate everything I have in life to serving You. Take me where I can best share your love. Take me to where I am most needed. Open the doors, and clear the obstacles. Let no man stand in the way of my mission being fulfilled. I know that no matter where I go, and no matter what I do, as long as Your words are in my heart, You are with me. You will shelter me, and comfort me. You will provide for me. Take me as I am, Lord, and do with me as You wish. Make my life a beacon in the night, showing the way to You..."

This is my daily prayer, and like it or not, I include my friends and family in this prayer as well. If we all were to realize our calling, this could only bring us closer to that blessed day when the Lord comes again. I can hardly wait to see my family again in 3 months. I am beside myself, ALMOST without words about how I feel. But even more exciting is the thought that perhaps, just perhaps I am filling a role in God's work.

"...Take me Lord. Mold me, make me, form me, shape me. Take my life and make me all that you want me to be. Not only that, but help all those around me, both friends and family, to realize their place in this master plan so that we may some day soon be with You in Paradise. Amen!"

I Will Follow


Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my sight
High above my life
I will trust in you alone (trust in you alone)

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you, yeah

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there's joy, unending joy
And I will follow

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah

Monday, December 14, 2015

God Can Do Anything, With Anything

Here I sit with Tony in the Tonga Mission Seventh-day Adventist transit quarters, about to spend our last night in Tonga before returning home after spending a long 8 months away from home, away from wife and mother, away from daughter and sister, away from all comforts and conveniences that we had learned all our lives to take for granted as US citizens. I have to admit that I am considerably unsure what to expect. I have been absent for far too long to expect there to have been no change since I left. My wife has learned a whole new level of independence, and my baby girl is no longer a baby. Dare I say she is no longer even a girl, but rather a beautiful young lady. So much has changed that I was not there to experience.

Of course I am very excited to go home. But I would be lying to say I was not nervous, even scared, after being absent all this time. So much has been done without me that the sinister little voice in my head keeps trying to tell me that there just might not be room, or even a need for me anymore. While I know this is not true, and that my wife and daughter love me every bit as much as I love them, these are the kinds of things that go through a man's head when he's abandoned his loved ones for so long and is trying to integrate back into the family.

Sure, Tony has been with me all along. But he's a guy, and guys don't get mushy and emotional, right? I'm lucky if he ever tells me he loves me anymore, or even offers a hug. Usually I get a "Good-night" at bed time, but that's as affectionate as it gets. That's the way it's been for some time between he and I though. We are men, and I guess men don't need to say and feel as much as the ladies. Ah, the ladies. The ones who love a morning and bedtime hug and kiss, and another any other time you can sneak one in. I miss that so much, and soon it will be mine again. At least I hope it will be mine. Carolyn has not kissed me, or I her, in roughly eight months now. Will it be like it was before? Will she even want to kiss me at all? She says she does, but maybe my lips will be coarse and weathered from the sun. Maybe the magic just won't be there anymore. Then there's my little princess, Alex. At one time she loved being my little "Snuggle Bug". When she couldn't sleep she'd come find me in my recliner or computer chare and crawl into my lap and I would hold her until she slept. She's grown so much since I left that I'm afraid my lap won't be big enough anymore. But then again, with me being gone for so long, would she even want to if she could?

Now that I've covered my concerns about coming home, let me discuss my fears about leaving Tonga. Sure, I've only been here 8 months. But 8 months is a long time. People change, for better or worse, often in far less time. I'm here to tell you that I have changed, including my size and color. (Yes, I said color. I can show you before and after examples if need be. The sun tends to do this.) I haven't watched 1 minute of television since leaving home. In fact, I have probably watched fewer than 20 of the 600+ movies on my external drive. That's not so much of a shock though, as I'd rather be on the computer than the tube anyway. But the absence of television is not the only change. Life has been much simpler in Tonga. I only drove a car 2 days, when I rented one. Tony and I bicycled across the island and back, or even walked miles to see a new part of the island. We also lived without hot water, without a heater or air conditioning, and without a refrigerator. We didn't have closets or dressers to put our clothing in. We didn't have shelves for food or dishes. In fact, we didn't even have mattresses to sleep on. We slept on thin hiking air mats that we brought, and Tony's even developed a leak so he woke up every morning on the hard boards of his bed. As hard as it sounds like life was, it was simple though. So few issues demanded a worry, or even a care. Work was a 2 minute walk across campus. The nights were usually cool (usually breezy to counter the humidity) and quiet (other than the screeching bats in the trees), Most days we had fresh bananas, or papaya, or pineapple, or mangoes to eat with our meals. Often we had a coconut to drink the water from. Every night, if we wanted to and weather permitted, we could go drop our feet into the water off the dock and toss our hooks into the water. We didn't always catch a fish, but we always relaxed.

Now you see why leaving Tonga concerns me? Life won't be the same at home in Texas. When I try to sleep I will be able to hear the traffic from the new toll way that was built about a quarter mile from our house. While I will be able to enjoy a much larger house, I will also be forced to endure a much larger electric bill to cover the heater (yes it's necessary to heat your house in Texas. It freezes sometimes). Also the refrigerator, although also quite necessary, will compound the utility bills. Then there's hot water. Probably the least necessary of the comforts of home, but likely the most missed. Although I grew somewhat accustomed to the cold shower every morning, Tony never accepted it. I even sent him back out to finish the job once after he spent so little time in the shower. That day we had walked a few miles, and his feet (he wore flip-flops most days) looked as though they hadn't seen water in months. But yes, this is yet another "must have" expense at home. While in Tonga our average water bill was about $20-$25 pa'anga, or roughly $10-$12.50 US dollars, while our electric was rarely over $50 pa'anga or $25 dollars. At home the water runs over $60, and the electric can easily exceed $300 in extreme months.

OK, enough about fears. Let's talk about blessings. A much better topic if you ask me, and one I spent a lot of time focusing on over the past several months. Let me begin with my health. I have lost roughly 40 pounds without any deliberate dieting. Sure, our diet was quite simple, but I didn't starve myself, and ate fruit as often as I could. I've also had no kidney stones, which calls for a big HALELUJIA! I've had a few pinches in the kidney region, which reminded me to take my supplements, but no stones. Most who know me know what a big deal this is for me. My back, although still achy, allows for longer periods of walking or biking, and allows for a full night's sleep. My teeth, while still jagged and broken, have not ached at all. I've bitten my tongue, cheek, or lip a few times and tasted the results, but no tooth-aches. Physically I feel considerably younger than I did 8 months ago.

Another blessing is the complete and unquestioning support I receive from Carolyn. Sure, I shared a few concerns earlier, but those are just in my head. I know she loves me, and that she supports my efforts and direction in life. I am quite certain there is nobody else alive on earth who would tolerate such an absence without as much as a complaint. In fact, she is backing my endeavors so much that she is preparing to bring Alex and join us in Tonga next year. I love you more than words can say Carolyn, and thank God every day that he gave you to me. I could not do this without you, and don't want to have to try to again. Two twenties couldn't hold a candle to you. (inside joke) Thank you for your undying love and support.

I'm blessed with a position that allows for me to share my love for our savior Jesus Christ, and where I can help young people do develop their personal relationships with Jesus as well. There is nothing more fulfilling than seeing 9 students get baptized in one day, and knowing that you at least had a minimal impact on their lives and helping them to make this decision. I have yet to determine if being selected as the Neiafu Kalia Pathfinder Club director for next year is a blessing or not, but I am certainly honored that the church has such faith in me. I am both excited and afraid to return and begin this venture. I hope and pray that I can live up to the expectations and responsibilities of such a duty. I am certainly blessed with a wonderful bunch of young people, and loving staff to support me throughout the Pathfinder season next year. I'm also blessed with a sustained income that has allowed for me to take this adventure. Now, for those of you who love to criticize those who "live off the government", just hold your horses. If you want to debate with me once again why I get a check from the Government, we can do that another time. This is not the place. Just consider that when I joined the US Army, a contract was made between myself and the government. I would dedicate my services, and perhaps even my life to my country in trade for certain benefits. One of these was support for medical conditions and complications as a result of these conditions which incurred during my active duty service. I served my country, and would have re-enlisted and even perhaps retired from the service, but these medical conditions prevented this from being possible. If you ask me, this beats sitting at home feeling sorry for myself any ol' day.

And finally I am blessed with not only a supportive family, but a wonderful network of friends and extended family who have backed me up 100% of the way, and helped out at home in my absence. I could not have made it this far without all the kind and loving words, and actions, that have been offered by each and every one of you. There is no way possible for me to repay what you have given me, at least no way for me to repay you. Just know that not only I have noticed, but God has as well. I have no doubt that He cracks quite a grin seeing you love each other as He has loved you. That is what true friendship is about. I love you all more than I can express.

The one thing that brings me the most joy is that I know not only have I done what the Lord has commanded me in serving Him in Tonga, but that you have done so also in supporting me and my family. A few short weeks ago Mizpah Adventist High School held a week of prayer before final exams. Their theme song was "God Can Do Anything, With Anything". I would encourage that each and every one of you to take this deeply to heart. If He can part the waters for the Israelites, if He can protect His faithful followers from fire and beast, if He can help a young boy to defeat a giant. Well you get the point, I could go on and on. If He can do all of these things, just imagine what He can do with you! It matters not what road you have traveled, or what you did while you were there. It matters not what you've done, or who you've done it with. It matters not what decisions you have made in the past. The only thing that matters is the decision you make right now to give your life to Him. He can right any wrong. He can heal any hurt, He can lift any burden, Please allow Him to work miracles in your life, just as he's done in mine. He can literally do anything, with anything. I'm a prime example.

"God Can Do Anything
The Collingsworth Family"

God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything

He turns nothing into something.
He's the giver of life.
He's hope to the hopeless,
and sight to the blind.
And he makes impossible, possible.
When there's no other way.
He makes the blackest sin white as snow.
That's why we can say,

My God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything

He's the fairest of ten thousand,
my soon coming King.
Jehovah, Messiah,
the reason why I sing.
He's Alpha and Omega,
the beginning and the end.
My Savior and Redeemer,
He's my closest friend.

Oh, God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything

Oh, God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything

Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything,
with anything

Monday, September 14, 2015

At Last, An Update!

I must apologize. It's been terribly long since I updated. It's not that I'm discouraged, but rather quite the opposite. I have been a bit distracted but that's no excuse. I should keep everyone updated, and I've dropped the ball. I'll strive to be more prompt with posts in the future. If you haven't noticed, this is a long one. Also, sorry...no song this time.

So what have we been doing in Tonga lately you ask? Hmmm let's see (not ordered by importance or priority by any means) .....
  • teaching and testing my patience with energetic students
  • struggling to get Pathfinders running smoothly
  • wrecking bicycles and fighting flat tires
  • NOT catching fish
  • fighting the phone and internet providers
  • searching for affordable chicken pen supplies
  • losing weight
  • and soul searching.

Now I'll elaborate.

As mentioned early, there has been quite a struggle in my classroom. My students are energetic and for the most part respectful. However, they are young people growing into adulthood. The boys have an uncontrollable need to try and impress the girls. The girls tell me “Mr Pearce... that boy, he touched me”, knowing I will lecture the boy in gentlemanly behavior and unwelcome touching. Next thing you know though, the girl is back to teasing the boy. I know they are teenagers, and acting as such. I have noticed though, that there is very little as far as expected gentlemanly or ladylike behavior. Hitting, and quite hardly at times I might add, is part of the everyday play. A loud slap on the back that a boy in the states would get mad about is often answered with either laughter, or a playful but threatening gesture as if he were going to hit her back, and he often does. It may be a dying cause to try and teach the boys to not hit girls, especially if I can't teach the girls to not hit the boys first. Perhaps it's not my place to try and correct this cycle of rough play that often leads to pain and hurt feelings, but it just goes against my grain to see such a lack of respect for each other. I've actually learned to laugh about most of it, however I do not allow hitting in my classroom. If I allow them to get too physical, the classroom gets loud and all order is lost.

Pathfinders is known here in Tonga, and much stronger in Nuku'alofa on the main island. However, here in Neiafu it is not as strong. It is a struggle to get the kids to come to the meetings. It's easy enough to get a crowd on Sabbath, I suspect because it gives them something appropriate to do on Sabbath. However, when we meet on Tuesday for the recreational activities, it has been common for 1-2, or even 0 Pathfinders to show. Perhaps the busy life here on this small island is too demanding. I am suggesting that we move Pathfinders to Friday night, where there is no school the following day. If you are not aware, Tonga and a few other S Pacific countries “redrew” the International Date Line, putting them at UTC+13:00 instead of UTC-12:00 and aligning their work week with Australia and New Zealand when they actually fall to the east and would be one day behind. I wonder how many of the Sunday keepers here realize they are actually worshiping on the 7th day Sabbath, even though it is called Sunday.

Because we knew we would be here for some time, Tony and I decided we needed wheels to get around more efficiently. We could not afford a car, and frankly there are not many automobiles here worth the investment. Instead, we found an Australian couple who was leaving, who owned bicycles. We bought them and have since been zooming all over the island, sometimes as far as 25km+ rides. However, it has not been pure convenience. I have been plagued with flat tires, I think totally 5 now. We had one spare tube, but because the most recent leak was at the valve stem, that one is no longer repairable. Also, neither of us had ridden a bicycle much in the past few years, and so it has taken some getting used to. Tony's likes to follow too closely, and so sometimes is kept off guard which has caused him to tumble a few times. One time Tony lost part of his cargo (a fish strapped on the back of his bike) and so stopped to pick it up. While waiting I was riding circles around. My bicycle has a problem with the back tire rubbing sometimes, and so while trying to make a slow circle at an incline, I lost momentum and took a tumble of my own. Although I was going quite slowly, and was able to catch myself with my arm, I couldn't for the life of me keep my head off the road. I went to school the next day with a large bandage covering my road rashed forehead. Most recently, yesterday as a matter of fact, Tony took the greatest tumble yet. We had been to the flea market and bought him a pair of sandals, which he had strapped to the back of his bike. After that we were out in search for affordable chicken pen supplies. On the way to our next stop, Tony noticed he was losing the sandals from the back of his bike, and called out to me “I'm going to have to stop!” Before I could even respond and figure out what the problem was, I heard his bike crashing to the road. I think the combination of him looking back which caused him to turn slightly, and him applying his front break by accident, he took a hard tumble. He had been complaining that his breaks were too sensitive, and I had been on to him to make an adjustment to correct the problem. In fact, earlier in the day while realigning my wheel (trying to correct the rubbing problem), I was adjusting my own breaks and suggested he do the same. I guess he was too busy to do his own maintenance, and boy did he pay the price. His head, shoulder, hand, foot, and both knees are skinned. He has all but healed now though. My bike, on the other hand, has taken a turn for the worst even since I begun writing this blog. The other day, after doing my daily adjustment, we went out for a ride. My back wheel began wobbling, but the nuts were tight. I found out later, after pushing the bike home, that the bearings need overhauling. I need a freewheel removal tool to get to the bearings, and such a tool does not exist in this area. I'm torn between ordering the part and paying excessive shipping, and continue the cycle or....buy new wheels and thus solving the bearings issue for once and for all. That is, if the bearings assembly comes with the wheel. I've never ordered one before.

Fishing....this is beginning to be a sore subject. I think the fish are racist, and when they see it's a palangi trying to catch them, they splash water at me and swim off. Actually we have had a few successful days, but many more frustrating ones. I am excited when we catch a 12” fish, but often we end up with nothing, or a few -6” pretenders. However, we have caught a couple approaching 18”, which made for a great dinner. Tony has caught 2 eels, one of them probably 2' long. I once brought a giant crab in that had found my bait on the bottom. He held on for a while, but let go and splashed back into the sea once he realized he was rising in the air. The other day I watched a roughly 18' barracuda take my bait, and so reeled him in. I wasn't thinking about it, and so dangled it for Tony to see. Of course before I could get him over land, his teeth severed my thin fishing line. He splashed at the edge of the water and swam off with my hook likely still in his mouth. The one fish that I have made my personal goal to catch at least once is the Bluefin Trevally. We occasionally see them swim up near the wharf where we fish (we have seen them at each place we have fished), but we have not been able to figure them out. Tony once got one to bite, but just as the barracuda, the teeth proved too sharp for the fishing line. We have since bought some steel leader line, and use it when expecting toothy fish to bite. We have caught nothing while using the leader though.

Just in case you haven't heard it before, communication is terrible at times here in Tonga. You "top up" your cell phone with credit, like a pre-paid phone at home. But even if you don't use it, your credit gets used up by all the spam messages from the provider. At times we have also noticed the data on our internet account rising without us using it. And if that's not enough, 5 GB of data purchased has more than once given us around 4 GB. The only answer when questioning the provider at the local office is that "you used it all". Well if we had used it all, surely the digital readout on the mobile wifi device would display 5 GB used, not 3.8. Oh, and speaking of the provider's local office....don't go there expecting to be done quickly. For mobile wifi you have to go in to the office to top-up. They have to email the main office in Nuku'alofa, requesting that your account be given the credit. If someone on the other end is available, sure it might be done right away. Otherwise, as has happened before, it could take 2+ hours. And don't for an instant let those 3 air-conditioners in the shop confuse you. None of them are working, and the big glass window covering the front of the store collects the afternoon sunlight really efficiently. I have nearly passed out while waiting. Also, I have learned to expect the unexpected. You never know when you will have a very poor signal, or none at all. Rumor has it that there will soon be a fiber optic line run to Vava'u, and I believe it will get here EVENTUALLY. However, we must remember that things are done on "island time" here, meaning it will get done when it gets done. That's often later than sooner.

A few days ago we were in town buying food, and were stopping at our favorite shop (ran by one of our church members) for bread and perhaps a snack and soda. As we parked our bikes we noticed a lone chick in front of the store. It was noteworthy because rarely is a chick seen without its mother, and certainly not found alone. Rather than running off, the chick fled from us and into the shop. Tony told the shop keeper that if they had a box, he would help them with their pest problem. They didn't have a box, but offered plastic grocery bag. So, we rode home with a chick hanging from Tony's handle bars in a plastic bag. For some reason this bird has taken a liking for Tony, and actually quiets down when he picks it up. It seems more content to be on Tony's hand when he is on the computer or eating. As it grows, I'm not sure how long this will last. When Tony was a baby I became quite skilled at holding him in one arm while browsing the internet with the other hand. I need to take a picture of Tony holding his baby while playing on the computer as a comparison picture. We also need to get busy working on a chicken pen. Perhaps we can find a few more chicks to keep this one company. I doubt we will have eggs before we leave though.

Those of you who know me, also know that I am not a small man. Even while still active in the US Army I was large. I had to suck my gut in to pass the body fat tape test conducted by the Army when I would fail weigh in. My thick neck has saved me many times. The Army didn't even issue Class A dress shirts with an 18 ½” neck. Well, without having a refrigerator to store food, we have been considerably limited in our diet. A common daily diet includes oatmeal with raisins for breakfast, ramen style noodles for lunch, and noodles or beans and rice for supper. When we have them, we eat eggs. But meat and cheese are expensive, and also usually not available in a 1 meal portion, so we eat much more wholesome meals. Because of this I have went from 129+ kg down to 114 kg. That's from 284 to 251 lbs. My pants are getting baggy and the weight loss is feeling good. If I have my way, I will continue losing until I get to 90-91 kg, or 200 lbs. Tony is also losing weight and enjoying the new look. The only problem is, our clothing budget is going to be high when we get home.

Those who have followed the adventures I have experienced over the last year plus know that I (and my family) have been through a lot. We have suffered major illnesses (Alex had appendicitis, and I required lithotripsy) as well as death (Carolyn's step-father Frank, Little Grandma, my brother Andrew). It seems that since the day I committed to serving in Tonga, the devil has been working overtime to discourage me. I must admit that there have been times that I have questioned myself, and whether I am doing the right thing. After all....what would happen if there were a family emergency while I'm in Tonga? Is it fair that Tony and I have essentially abandoned Alexandra and Carolyn? What about my mother....is it fair to put her through this? After all, I had just traveled to the Philippines to bury my brother. What about Tony? Is it fair for me to yank him out of his world at home and drag him around the world? Is this truly the Lord's will, or a result of my desire for adventure? Now that I am here, am I really doing what I am intended to do? Also the outlying islands need outreach. Needless to say I have a lot on my mind. I have been spending a lot of time questioning myself, and seeking guidance from the Lord. I have also expressed some of the outreach concerns with our pastor, who also recognizes these needs.

While I know Mizpah High School needs me, I have that same feeling in my gut that brought me to Tonga in the first place. While I know I'm doing a good thing, I feel like good is just not enough. There is something more for me to do yet. At this point I am almost 100% convinced that my future in Tonga will be centered around establishing a community service center for Neiafu, whether it be Adventist Community Service, or privately operated. If I have to, I'll find a way to fund it myself. This would not simply be a matter of convenience for Vava'u, but rather is a necessity. It would likely take days or even a week for aid to reach the islands in case of a disaster. In fact I remember reading an article centered around the Cyclone Ian which tore through Ha'apai in early 2014. This article stated that while it was recognized that 90+% of all structures and crops were destroyed on the island, that there was estimated to be enough food from the dead crops to sustain the people for 7 days, so they had this long to arrive with aid. That is simply not acceptable in my mind. While there may have been food, what about fresh drinking water? What about shelter from subsequent storms? What about medical aid? What about ….. well, you get the point. At home, the Adventist Community Service centers have disaster response trucks ready to deploy the very day a disaster strikes. They have semi trailers loaded with clothing and cleaning supplies to be distributed to those affected. How come something like this can't be done here? A boat might be more appropriate for response to remote islands, but why can't that be in place? Just because this is a mission conference, does that mean funds should not be made available by the global church, or other charitable organizations, to assure assistance is in place next time a disaster strikes?

If anyone is interested, there is great need for more servants of the Lord here. Because Tonga is made up of 177 islands, 52 of which are inhabited, scattered over a 800km span of sea, there are many families who are not reached by the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Other denominations have a presence on the smaller islands, but SDA is only present on the 3 main islands of Tonga'tapu, Vava'u, and Ha'apai. While the entire kingdom is proclaimed Christian, they only know what they are told. Perhaps a newly graduated pastor looking to get his feet wet in evangelism could find Tonga to be their calling.

Also, Tonga by culture is a feasting kingdom. Most celebrations are centered around an overabundance of food. Because of this, weight related illnesses are common. Diabetes being one of them, can lead to renal failure and require dialysis. This level of medical service is not available in Tonga. Only the wealthy can afford to travel to New Zealand to receive dialysis. The common Tongan's fate is much more dismal. I can't help but think that there is a hospital somewhere in the US or elsewhere who has “last year's model” dialysis equipment in the basement, which was working perfectly until the latest technology was released. Rather than collecting dust and eventually scrapped as antiquated junk, why not donate it to Tonga? If Papua New Guinea can offer dialysis, why not Tonga? Also, surely there are still medical professionals who wish to serve in a mission capacity that could manage a dialysis clinic. Perhaps newly graduated nurses wishing to explore mission work could spend a year aiding in the clinic.

Continuing the list of Tongan needs, I should discuss the fact that while there are cows throughout the island, there is no source of local milk. While Tonga boasts producing some of the finest vanilla beans in the world, there seems to be no local processing plant. The beans are exported, and then the vanilla extract imported again. Why shouldn't Tonga capitalize on this industry, which surely would boost the local economy with added jobs, and increased profits from crops. Tonga could become world renowned for vanilla exports, rather than the unmentioned source of beans for a plant elsewhere. Perhaps there are agricultural and business professionals who have a passion for mission work who could come help establish such an industry and educate the local people to operate it, allowing them to support their families better.

Finally, there are whales. Tonga, and Vava'u in particular, has another unique attraction. This region is known for the migration of humpback whales every year. How come the local people are not capitalizing on this potential gold mine? There are many foreign owned whale watching boats, but very few Tongans. Along with the whales comes the big game fishing, which is known for generating a healthy income. In addition, those who seek these types of recreation usually have money to spend at local cafes and shops. I see no reason that Vava'u should not be a globally renowned tourist location with world class comfort and accommodations. While many foreigners have realized this potential, not many native Tongans have caught on. A tourism and public relations professional with a desire to help fight poverty could surely make themselves comfortable in Tonga.

The laid back atmosphere and friendly people of Vava'u make for a very pleasant place for a Christian family to live. Never before have I been to a place where I felt as safe as Tonga. Children play in the streets without concern of abduction. Laborers do not have to fight for the right to have Sabbath off. Friendly neighbors are always on the lookout, waiting for an opportunity to help. I consider it an honor and privilege to be chosen by our Lord to serve in such a peaceful, beautiful location. I pray every day that I live up to the expectations hat He has for me. I pray every day that He reveal His will to me in such a way that I can comprehend.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Overwhelmed

It has been over a month since I last posted, and for this I apologize. Since my last entry Tony and I have traveled to Tonga via Fiji Airways. We spent 9 hours in Fiji waiting on our flight to Nuku'alofa, and then about a week before the flight to Vava'u and finally arriving at Mizpah Mission High School on the edge of Neiafu, Vava'u, Tonga. We have settled in pretty well, although there are many conveniences of home that we still have not convinced ourselves that we can live without. Sooner or later this realization will kick in though, as we have been living without them for over a month now.

On the topic of luxuries, let me explain my new mind-set. There are only a few things you absolutely NEED to survive. You must eat or you will survive, and you must drink or die of dehydration. You need shelter from the most extreme elements, and in today's society you must wear clothing. It is also very difficult to survive with your sanity without companionship. Although many would argue whether it is necessary or not, I also feel that it is crucial to have a personal relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ. Sure, He may allow you to survive life without knowing Him, but it is only He who can provide all of the other necessities in life. Anything beyond that is for self indulgence. We don't need acres of land and a big house. We don't need a car, or even a second car or RV. We don't need hot water, and we don't need heating and air conditioning. We don't need a refrigerator or an elaborate kitchen. Although it makes bathing more enjoyable, we don't really NEED hot water. We don't need money or status. In fact, I will go as far as to say that we don't need any of the things I mentioned above that we do need, other than knowing Christ. At least not in abundance or on hand. After all, think about it, Moses and the Israelites wandered for 40 years in the wilderness before reaching the Promised Land. While I'm sure they had some possessions strapped on the backs of livestock, they had none of today's necessities (luxuries). As we know from reading the book of Exodus 16 & 17 of the Holy Bible, the Lord provided food daily, Manna in the morning and quail in the evening. He also supplied water, FROM A ROCK! Now if they could survive 40 years with not much more than food, water, and sometimes even a questionable relationship with the Lord, surely we could as well, if only we had the same faith as Moses. Many of the people of Tonga have very little in the form of luxuries. On the Mizpah campus for example there are 6 families, and only 1 working car. All windows are shutters, which means no climate control at all. Considering that Vava'u is at Latitude 18°41'60 S and my home in Texas is at about 32°45'53 N, I would have expected the "need" of air conditioning to be much greater here. However, only the wealthy have such a luxury. Other things near impossible to find on this island are compressed air (other than at the tire shop), bread knives, auto parts, computer parts, fishing poles (go figure), a REAL mattress, and... the list could go on a while. If you can see the pattern, people live on this island quite well without most items we feel are household necessities. Although they have very little to nothing in their name, in my experience most of the Tongans I have met are quite friendly (at least on the outside). Most do not complain about what they don't have. Most of the complaints I have heard are from the palangis, or white people. This is sad because most live in much better houses, and brought more luxuries with them than the local Tongans have. In fact I have to be careful what I say because if my neighbors think I like something they have, they give it to me and will not accept my declination. One day our neighbors brought home a cake for their family and their little children seemed quite excited. My son saw the cake and commented, "Yumm... cake. I bet that's yummy." He was of course talking to the children, and was not asking for any for himself. However, before we knew it they were bringing a plate with 1/4 of the cake on it, and insisted that we accept it. Now I know for a fact that I as a volunteer have more money available to me than this family does. I guess they feel obligated to give to us when we appear to be in need since we are here without any form of monetary compensation. It becomes more evident each day that these people, at least those I am associated with, have a similar faith to that which Moses had. There is no need to accumulate wealth. God will provide what you need, when you need it.

Although I have not suffered much without the cool air of my home in Texas, I have a different battle to fight. Sometimes we go days without ceasing to sweat. I have not seen temperature above the mid 80's, which is typical here. However, the humidity is worse than any place I have ever been. Korea and the Philippines cannot compare. We have given up and brought our laundry in from the line because they simply will not dry more. The clothes remain damp even when in the breeze because along with the wind comes the moisture. When there is a good breeze though, it is easy to ignore the humidity. The students and other teachers seem to not be effected by the humidity, and I rarely see them sweating unless they are working or exercising very hard. I could be right beside them though, and would have sweat dripping from my face and arms. My skin will be cool, but very wet. At home, cold and clammy would be signs of illness. Here, it is just the white man's body not adjusting to the climate. I do feel that I have acclimatized some though. I also feel fortunate, but also sorry for my family back home. Although it rains sometimes daily, we don't have the same problems as Texas. There is plenty of room in the sea for the surplus water. I rarely see any standing water, other than a few puddles in the school's circle drive after the rain. From watching the news and hearing from my wife, it seems just about the entire state of Texas has been in flood conditions for the past month. This is not typical for Texas, as most summers are plagued with drought. The rain seems to have stopped for now, and I'm sure everyone is grateful.

Although our diet is not as simple as that of the Israelites, we certainly have not eaten like at home. Some things are abundantly available, and some are not. If we ever want cassava (a root plant similar to potatoes), all we have to do is go behind the house and dig it up. There are also about 20 banana trees back there, and a few coconut trees as well. Behind some of the other staff houses there are also taro (another root plant), papaya, passion fruit, and I'm sure a few others I am not aware of. There are also very large mango trees everywhere, but sadly they are not in season. Vava'u is also known for their high quality vanilla, which is also being grown on campus. While milk is hard to find, if you're willing to pay the price there is cheese and butter in most shops. A plain chocolate bar is super rare and chocolate chips non-existent, but a chocolate bar stuffed with peanuts is common. Ramen noodles, oatmeal, rice, bananas, coconuts, eggs and potatoes make up most of our diet. Occasionally we splurge and buy some highly overpriced peanut butter, or spaghetti sauce, or even cookies, but we are on a tight budget so luxuries like this are seldom.

One thing I find odd here is that although there are probably about 3 dogs per family, and chickens wander freely with their chicks, I have never seen a dog chase them. In addition to dogs and chickens, we see tons of pigs and little piglets dashing across the streets. They apparently have the right of way because I've never seen one struck by a car. Many dogs are limping as a result of their encounters on the road, but never have I seen an injured pig. We also have a cow problem. Since the grass is obviously greener on the other side, we are occasionally visited by cows at night. They are not afraid to announce their presence, as they cry out to their friends that they have found fresh water. This is because the lot next door on campus has a few bricks remaining from what used to be a house. This house has a water leak which apparently the city is in no rush to repair. This water creates a small puddle that is too tempting for them to ignore. I have been woken once or twice by the sloshing sound of heavy cow hooves sinking into the mud. Last night in fact, someone who had visited a staff member was careless enough to leave the gate open. Just as we were preparing to turn in for the night, we heard the all to familiar "moo" outside the window. Tony and I joined the other staff in chasing half a dozen or more cows throughout campus and finally out the gate. Although the dogs tried to help, they often scared the cows in the wrong direction. The bamboo spear I had made in an attempt at primitive fishing came in handy in giving the cows a nudge now and then.

To say the least, this trip has been quite a humbling experience. It's amazing what you can survive with....or without. It's also interesting how dependent we become on worldly things that humans survived without for thousands of years. But I came to serve, not to be served. I am not here for self gratification. I am here for Mizpah Mission High School and it's students. I am here to help establish the Vava'u Pathfinder Club, which is in it's 3rd week. I am here because I asked the Lord to use me, and this is where He told me to go. I pray each day for His guidance in my work and my life. I ask him to use me in whatever manner He will, to draw these young kids to Him. Although at times I fail, I strive to give God all the glory, all the credit for everything I have and do. I must decrease, so He can increase. TO GOD BE THE GLORY, FOR GREAT THINGS HE HATH DONE!

"Big Daddy Weave - Overwhelmed"

I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice
All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross
Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God
All that You’ve done is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
In the Glory of Your Presence
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

You are Beautiful, You are Beautiful
Oh God, there is no one more Beautiful
You are Beautiful, God you are the most Beautiful

You are Wonderful, You are Wonderful
Oh God, there is no one more Wonderful
You are Wonderful, God You are the most Wonderful

You are Glorious, You are Glorious
Oh God, there is no one more Glorious
You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious

Thursday, April 23, 2015

More of You!

Once again I find myself posting for the first time in quite a while. And once again a lot has happened since my last post. So much has happened since I committed myself to serving the Lord as a missionary. I suppose it would be better to recap what has happened since that day. Much of it you already know, but I have left a lot out. Sorry, but I am going to be a little long winded this time.

I told you before how I moved my family to S Korea to teach English at a Seventh Day Adventist elementary school for a year, and how that experience sparked a tremendous fire in me that has yet to be extinguished. Honestly, I hope it never goes out. It was only a few years before that I had finally realized, at almost the age of 40 that I belonged in the Lord’s service. After graduating from Southwestern Adventist University I applied at every Adventist academy that advertised an opening for a position I felt I could fulfil, ranging from boy’s dean, to Computer teacher, to math teacher, to IT and network administration. I had several interviews, that in my mind all seemed to go well, but none panned out. It wasn’t until several times of getting my hopes up just to be disappointed again that I finally realized that my will is not necessarily the Lord’s will, and is often quite far from it. I had been praying daily for God to not only show me where I belonged, but also to make it so plainly obvious that even someone as stupid as me could figure it out. As it turned out, my will was thousands of miles from His will. So I finally bit at the opportunity to travel to Korea, and finally I found where I belonged.

That chapter only lasted a year. It wasn’t long after returning home that I was offered my next adventure. I was to teach Computers and PE at our local church school, JAMS (Joshua Adventist Multigrade School). I taught 20 hours a week in trade for my 2 children’s tuition at the school. After my son completed the 8th grade it was no longer a balanced trade, as only one child was in the school. I could not afford an Adventist academy for him, and so determined I would home-school him rather than place him in the public school system. This is what I have been doing for the past 3 years, but I have constantly felt a burning, a feeling that I wasn’t quite in the place where the Lord wanted me. I again found myself praying daily for this profoundly obvious sign as to where I belonged. I knew I was doing the right thing by home-schooling my son and keeping him from the public school system, but there was something more and I just couldn’t pinpoint it.

I’ve also told you about how when my son and I explored what we imagined might have been the path across the Pacific that the Kon-Tiki might have taken. During this exploration via Google Earth I ran across the Kingdom of Tonga, which I could not recall ever hearing of before. I almost instantly became consumed with this tiny country, learning everything I could about the country and people, culture and history. This obsession lasted about 2 weeks, and I literally could not sleep many of the nights. I found myself tossing and turning while trying to sleep, and so I’d finally get up so as not to wake my wife. I’d find myself on the internet again, learning how Tonga is the last monarchy of the Pacific, but that the kingdom is primarily Christian. I learned that due to its isolation, disasters, and even culture that this country suffers from a severe state of poverty. It finally dawned me that this just might be that blatantly obvious sign I was asking for. My next prayer was, to summarize, was to re-commit myself to the Lord’s service, and to agree that if Tonga is where He wanted me that I was ready to go. Finally I could sleep again. It was now profoundly clear that this is what I was being directed to do. I publicly announced that I had begun preparations for a mission trip. I felt a rekindled sense of joy, knowing that I soon would be in the Lord’s service again.

This is where the challenges began. Shortly after making this announcement my wife’s father passed away. It was determined that because I did not hold traditional employment, that I would spend the next few weeks in Kansas to help my widowed mother-in-law through this troubled time. Once affairs were handled in Kansas, it was back to preparations. I began fund raising but ran into many roadblocks. Many of these obstacles seemed to be stemmed from doubts that I would actually follow through with my intentions, or perhaps doubt that I was actually of “missionary material”. When my future mission was announced at church I received a little bit of money, but it only totaled about 2% of what I calculated my total expenses to be for the trip. I was way off pace, and feared I would not have the money to afford even the airfare, let alone funds to sustain life in Tonga. This fear was silenced though, as we were able to commit our income tax return (what we had determined we would be receiving) to the mission. I could now afford to at least get to Tonga.

However, it seemed the devil still had a few more obstacles for me to endure. I had more trouble with kidney stones and underwent lithotripsy, and was quite concerned about more stones in Tonga, where access to top quality medical services is quite limited. I was not discouraged though, and pressed on with mission plans.

About a week before Christmas my grandmother (mother of my step-father) passed away. While we all knew that she was old and that her health was failing, we liked to pretend that this sweet old lady would still be there tomorrow. It was a solemn time, but I refused to let this deter me. I knew that this was yet another challenge that the Lord was allowing Satan to test me with. I knew grandma had given her heart to the Lord, and that she was no longer hurting. Although her passing was sad, I knew she could now rest. Again I reaffirmed the commitment I had made to serve the Lord, and moved forward with mission trip planning.

The devil was not through with me yet though, and it was soon to get much more difficult. The day after Christmas, just one week after my grandmother passed, I was called by my step-father who was obviously in tears, telling me that I needed to get to their house as soon as possible to be with my mother because he had terrible news. My brother Andrew had been killed in an automobile accident in the Philippines, where he was teaching theology courses for free at an under-funded Adventist college. My heart was heavy and I didn’t know what to do. I knew I needed to get to mom’s house, but also knew that I needed to be with his family. The next day I flew to LA and met up with my father (Darrel, my biological father) and we boarded a plane headed to Manila. His oldest daughter Cherish arrived a few days later and joined us. We spent 3 weeks in the Philippines getting to know Andrew’s students, co-teachers, and offering what support we could to his surviving widow and three younger children. Before we knew it, we were returning to Manila for the long flight home. Once again I renewed my promise to serve the Lord, knowing that He is much more powerful than the one in charge of all of these discouragements. I got back to planning, and now waiting on visa paperwork that had already been submitted.

If you haven’t guessed by now, this story is not over yet. A week into February my father (Darrel again) fell and broke his hip. He lives in Oregon so I could not visit him in the hospital, and he didn’t want us to spend money to fly to Oregon that could be used on my mission trip. He had surgery the following day and began PT, or Pain & Torture as he learned to know it as. It was hard not being able to be there for him, but I could tell by his attitude on the phone, that he was not going to let this stop him. I knew he was going to pull through this, and also knew that I still had an assignment to fulfill. I had to keep looking to Tonga.

Two days later the devil once again reminded me that he was not through. My daughter Alexandra became sick. She was complaining of a stomach ache, and had a fever. She was not able to hold down her food. We figured this was an ordinary flu bug, and treated her as such. Her fever broke the next day and so we thought she would be back in school soon. However her fever and vomiting returned and it became clear her appendix had other plans. After a doctor’s visit and referral to the nearby ER, we were told to take her to Cook’s Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth because she needed more extensive treatment than they could offer at an outpatient ER. Her ruptured appendix was removed the following morning. It was terrible enduring my father-in-law, grandmother, and brother passing, but this actually hit me harder. We learned that the appendix likely had ruptured a few days earlier when she first became sick, and that her white blood cells were quite high trying to fight the infection caused by this. I was afraid we were now going to lose our little Princess, my little Snuggle-Bug. I just knew if I were to lose her I could not survive. I finally broke down and cried to the Lord. Until now I had been 100% convinced that all the hardships were simply trials to test my dedication to serving Him. If I had to endure yet another loss, I did not think I could possibly effectively serve abroad. I asked the Lord to please give me assurance that I am making the right choices, and that this trip to Tonga was in deed part of His master plan. I felt that if I received any more bad news I would have to cancel everything and just lie down and die myself. Alex had to spend the next week in the hospital fighting infection, but was soon her cheerful self. You can’t imagine the weight lifted from me. I was totally convinced that if we had lost Alex that it would have been my fault, and that I had been ignoring all these signs telling me in fact NOT to go to Tonga. Through His mercy though, her life was spared. She recovered quickly, and has all but forgotten about the surgery and hospital stay.

Passing what I hope is to be all of the challenges I’ll have to endure, I finally was informed that it was safe to buy our airfare and travel to Tonga. Although school began in February, I was still needed and much awaited. We purchased tickets and are scheduled to leave the DFW airport on April 26. We have started gathering everything we will be taking on the trip, and are excited to get on with this adventurous assignment we have been given by our gracious Savior.

My brother had a favorite motto that through all of this I learned to apply to my life, and I vow to forever live by this thought.

I must decrease so HE can increase.

Here is my song for this post. It most definitely applies to my life today. I hope and pray that I can instill in my children's hearts the value of such a relationship with our Savior and King.

"Colton Dixon - More Of You"

I made my castle tall
I built up every wall
This is my kingdom and it needs to fall
I want You and no one else
Empty me of myself
Until the only thing that's left is

More of You
Less of me
Make me who I'm meant to be
You're all I want all I need
You're everything
Take it all I surrender
Be my king
God I choose
More of You
Less of me

I need More of You
More of You

This life I hold so close
Oh, God I let it go
I refuse to gain the world and lose my soul
So take it all I abandon everything I am You can have it
The only thing I need is

More of You
Less of me
Make me who I'm meant to be
You're all I want all I need
You're everything
Take it all I surrender
Be my king
God I choose
More of You
Less of me

I need More of You
More of You

I need More of You
More of You

All to You I surrender
All to You my blessed Savior
I surrender all

All to You I surrender
All to You my blessed Savior
I surrender all

More of You
Less of me
Make me who I'm meant to be
You're all I want all I need
You're everything
Take it all I surrender
Be my king
God I choose
More of You
Less of me

I need More of You
More of You

I need More of You
All to You I surrender
All to You my blessed Savior
More of You
More of You
More of You

Monday, January 19, 2015

Good To Be Alive

It's been over a month since my last post. And yes, I am supposed to be in Tonga by now. Unfortunately I have amazingly little control over my life. In case you are wondering, my trip has not been cancelled, only postponed.

On December 26 2014, my brother Pastor Andrew Evan Pearce was tragically killed in an automobile accident in the Philippines when he lost control of his SUV and hit a mango tree while overtaking a stalled car. His wife was with him, and initially we were informed that she was critically injured as well. Only by the grace of God was she spared with seemingly minor injuries, as looking at the vehicle it was hard to believe that anyone inside could have survived. If her life had also been lost they would have left three orphans. I could have easily been traveling to the Philippines to foster my niece and nephews in addition to attending my brother's funeral, or even to bury them all! I refuse to imagine if their small children would have been in the back of the car. It is also noteworthy that the only thing that kept his car from plowing through a very poorly structured house that was dangerously close to the road and killing any inhabitants present was the very mango tree that took my brother's life. Thankfully my (and Andrew's) father and niece (Andrew's daughter) and I made the long voyage to support his surviving family and attend a single funeral, rather than the potentially greater loss of lives.

While my brother's loss was tragic and quite unexpected, it was not in vain. During my time at Naga View Adventist College, where my brother was serving as a missionary Theology professor, I witnessed first hand the impact that he had on so many of the young people not only in the college, but also in the high school and elementary school. The people of this community were overwhelmingly hospitable and grateful for our presence, which was evidenced daily by the way we were greeted with wide smiles and warm hugs and handshakes. It is apparent to me that Andrew left quite a legacy at Naga View Adventist College, and that his teachings touched and guided many young people in their journey to building a lifelong relationship with our Savior and King. There is even talk of erecting a memorial library in my brother's name, to include the vast collection of theological books he contributed to the school. My father and I have been tasked with raising the funds for this building, so count on further fund raisers in the future from me. For now though, through the loss of my brother has sparked a deeper desire for me to forge on with my plans, and to fulfill the commitment I made with Mizpah Mission Adventist High School, and with the people of the Kingdom of Tonga, and with the Lord. I have paid my respects to my brother's family and now it is time for me to continue my own journey in service.

If there is one thing the past few weeks have taught me, it is that life is short, too short. Because of this I have a message for anyone willing to hear it. You never know when it is your time. Nobody knows how much time we have left in this world. This means that it is crucially important that each and every one of us take care of business ASAP. Don't put off until tomorrow what really should be done today. Don't get caught up in the false idea that there is plenty of time to turn your life around tomorrow once all the fun is over, for it might just be this "fun" that results in the loss of life, of your life. Please take the time right now; not next week, not tomorrow, not even tonight, to assure that your heart is in the hands of our Lord Jesus Christ. Don't wait until tomorrow to turn your life around. Don't wait until after this "awesome party" you are looking forward to next week, or the weekend cycling trip you are planning, or even until after you go to bed. You never know if you will see tomorrow, so tomorrow is too late. Please make a personal commitment to follow the Lord NOW. Don't take life for granted. Don't waste another second. Live your life like there's no tomorrow. Give glory to the Savior now for the blessings he has granted. Tomorrow might be too late.

I pray each day that this is how I live, that this is how my family lives. Far too often we find ourselves satisfied with where we are in life, and too complacent. We live day to day as if life could never be cut short. We expect to see our children grow, and to see their children grow. My brother left three children under the age of 11. While I have no doubt that he dedicated his life to the Lord, I also have no doubt that he expected to wake up tomorrow to kiss his children again, and the next day. There is no way to prepare for tomorrow other than to prepare your heart for the Lord. I only hope that my life is in order when it is my time. I vow to live like there's no tomorrow, love like I'm on borrowed time. Only He knows when it is my time. I lift my life up to Him.

Jason Gray - "Good To Be Alive"

Hold on
Is this really the life I'm living?
Cause I don't feel like I deserve it
Every day that I wake, every breath that I take you’ve given
So right here, right now
While the sun is shining down

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah, yeah

Hold on
If the life that we've been given
Is made beautiful in the living
And the joy that we get brings joy to the heart of the giver
Then right here, right now
This is the song I'm singing out

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

I won’t take it for granted
I won’t waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say “thank you”

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be, it's good to be alive

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

I won’t take it for granted
I won’t waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say “thank you”

Friday, December 5, 2014

I'm Not Strong Enough!

The time is rapidly approaching when my son and I are supposed to begin our voyage to the other side of the globe, yet there is still so much to do. Our passports are in order, but not the visa as this requires a state level background check. Tony and I will go to Austin next week to get this. When we spent our time in Korea, it only took 1 night to get this done. However, I am told that it will take up to 2-3 nights to get it back now. We will be looking for a friend for us to camp with so that we don't spend what little bit of money we have raised so far. After we have this background check I believe I will have all the documentation to submit for my working visa. (Yes, I am volunteering. But as a volunteer I will come into the country with a working visa because I will be working....for a sum of $0. After the visa is handled, the main thing I have to do is find the airfare. This will cost from $3,000 round trip to $3,500 one-way. Yes, there is a great range in the cost. It all depends on how soon I can purchase the tickets.

In addition to the astronomical financial responsibilities of this mission, at times I feel like not many I talk to take me seriously. Family don't want me to go, church members seem to either doubt I will go or to have little interest in the fact that I am going, friends think it's cool but seem to take little interest. I think too often we get caught up in our own worlds, our own needs, our own desires, and forget how fortunate we actually are. We forget our obligation as Christians to spread the Word to all the world. I'm told "There are plenty of charities you can contribute to here at home", or "I'm an American. If I'm going to help anyone it's going to be a fellow American." I too have a patriotic side, but I also have a compassion for those who are not as fortunate as I; to have been born in a society where going hungry was not part of life, where we are born free from poverty (yes, even the poorest of American communities are wealthier than many abroad), where we are born free to speak our minds and free to worship and sing praises to our King and Savior as we feel we should. This is where I feel I belong. These are the people I feel I should be reaching out to.

This is where I must officially declare that I give up. Dealing with financial concerns, documentation, time crunches, doubt, character attacks, and lack of adequate support from my community, I often find myself feeling that I'm just not strong enough. I'm quickly learning that although I would like to think I could do this on my own, that I simply can't. I need help; not just from my community but from God. Only through Him can mountains be moved. This blog's song touches home really strongly. I must give up and hand total control over to God. I have to step back and watch Him in action. Then and only then will these giants be conquered.

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 NIV

"Matthew West - Strong Enough"

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough