The time is rapidly approaching when my son and I are supposed to begin our voyage to the other side of the globe, yet there is still so much to do. Our passports are in order, but not the visa as this requires a state level background check. Tony and I will go to Austin next week to get this. When we spent our time in Korea, it only took 1 night to get this done. However, I am told that it will take up to 2-3 nights to get it back now. We will be looking for a friend for us to camp with so that we don't spend what little bit of money we have raised so far. After we have this background check I believe I will have all the documentation to submit for my working visa. (Yes, I am volunteering. But as a volunteer I will come into the country with a working visa because I will be working....for a sum of $0. After the visa is handled, the main thing I have to do is find the airfare. This will cost from $3,000 round trip to $3,500 one-way. Yes, there is a great range in the cost. It all depends on how soon I can purchase the tickets.
In addition to the astronomical financial responsibilities of this mission, at times I feel like not many I talk to take me seriously. Family don't want me to go, church members seem to either doubt I will go or to have little interest in the fact that I am going, friends think it's cool but seem to take little interest. I think too often we get caught up in our own worlds, our own needs, our own desires, and forget how fortunate we actually are. We forget our obligation as Christians to spread the Word to all the world. I'm told "There are plenty of charities you can contribute to here at home", or "I'm an American. If I'm going to help anyone it's going to be a fellow American." I too have a patriotic side, but I also have a compassion for those who are not as fortunate as I; to have been born in a society where going hungry was not part of life, where we are born free from poverty (yes, even the poorest of American communities are wealthier than many abroad), where we are born free to speak our minds and free to worship and sing praises to our King and Savior as we feel we should. This is where I feel I belong. These are the people I feel I should be reaching out to.
This is where I must officially declare that I give up. Dealing with financial concerns, documentation, time crunches, doubt, character attacks, and lack of adequate support from my community, I often find myself feeling that I'm just not strong enough. I'm quickly learning that although I would like to think I could do this on my own, that I simply can't. I need help; not just from my community but from God. Only through Him can mountains be moved. This blog's song touches home really strongly. I must give up and hand total control over to God. I have to step back and watch Him in action. Then and only then will these giants be conquered.
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 NIV
"Matthew West - Strong Enough"
You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own
I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us
Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up
Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out
I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Oh, yeah
I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough
