Here I sit with Tony in the Tonga Mission Seventh-day Adventist transit quarters, about to spend our last night in Tonga before returning home after spending a long 8 months away from home, away from wife and mother, away from daughter and sister, away from all comforts and conveniences that we had learned all our lives to take for granted as US citizens. I have to admit that I am considerably unsure what to expect. I have been absent for far too long to expect there to have been no change since I left. My wife has learned a whole new level of independence, and my baby girl is no longer a baby. Dare I say she is no longer even a girl, but rather a beautiful young lady. So much has changed that I was not there to experience.
Of course I am very excited to go home. But I would be lying to say I was not nervous, even scared, after being absent all this time. So much has been done without me that the sinister little voice in my head keeps trying to tell me that there just might not be room, or even a need for me anymore. While I know this is not true, and that my wife and daughter love me every bit as much as I love them, these are the kinds of things that go through a man's head when he's abandoned his loved ones for so long and is trying to integrate back into the family.
Sure, Tony has been with me all along. But he's a guy, and guys don't get mushy and emotional, right? I'm lucky if he ever tells me he loves me anymore, or even offers a hug. Usually I get a "Good-night" at bed time, but that's as affectionate as it gets. That's the way it's been for some time between he and I though. We are men, and I guess men don't need to say and feel as much as the ladies. Ah, the ladies. The ones who love a morning and bedtime hug and kiss, and another any other time you can sneak one in. I miss that so much, and soon it will be mine again. At least I hope it will be mine. Carolyn has not kissed me, or I her, in roughly eight months now. Will it be like it was before? Will she even want to kiss me at all? She says she does, but maybe my lips will be coarse and weathered from the sun. Maybe the magic just won't be there anymore. Then there's my little princess, Alex. At one time she loved being my little "Snuggle Bug". When she couldn't sleep she'd come find me in my recliner or computer chare and crawl into my lap and I would hold her until she slept. She's grown so much since I left that I'm afraid my lap won't be big enough anymore. But then again, with me being gone for so long, would she even want to if she could?
Now that I've covered my concerns about coming home, let me discuss my fears about leaving Tonga. Sure, I've only been here 8 months. But 8 months is a long time. People change, for better or worse, often in far less time. I'm here to tell you that I have changed, including my size and color. (Yes, I said color. I can show you before and after examples if need be. The sun tends to do this.) I haven't watched 1 minute of television since leaving home. In fact, I have probably watched fewer than 20 of the 600+ movies on my external drive. That's not so much of a shock though, as I'd rather be on the computer than the tube anyway. But the absence of television is not the only change. Life has been much simpler in Tonga. I only drove a car 2 days, when I rented one. Tony and I bicycled across the island and back, or even walked miles to see a new part of the island. We also lived without hot water, without a heater or air conditioning, and without a refrigerator. We didn't have closets or dressers to put our clothing in. We didn't have shelves for food or dishes. In fact, we didn't even have mattresses to sleep on. We slept on thin hiking air mats that we brought, and Tony's even developed a leak so he woke up every morning on the hard boards of his bed. As hard as it sounds like life was, it was simple though. So few issues demanded a worry, or even a care. Work was a 2 minute walk across campus. The nights were usually cool (usually breezy to counter the humidity) and quiet (other than the screeching bats in the trees), Most days we had fresh bananas, or papaya, or pineapple, or mangoes to eat with our meals. Often we had a coconut to drink the water from. Every night, if we wanted to and weather permitted, we could go drop our feet into the water off the dock and toss our hooks into the water. We didn't always catch a fish, but we always relaxed.
Now you see why leaving Tonga concerns me? Life won't be the same at home in Texas. When I try to sleep I will be able to hear the traffic from the new toll way that was built about a quarter mile from our house. While I will be able to enjoy a much larger house, I will also be forced to endure a much larger electric bill to cover the heater (yes it's necessary to heat your house in Texas. It freezes sometimes). Also the refrigerator, although also quite necessary, will compound the utility bills. Then there's hot water. Probably the least necessary of the comforts of home, but likely the most missed. Although I grew somewhat accustomed to the cold shower every morning, Tony never accepted it. I even sent him back out to finish the job once after he spent so little time in the shower. That day we had walked a few miles, and his feet (he wore flip-flops most days) looked as though they hadn't seen water in months. But yes, this is yet another "must have" expense at home. While in Tonga our average water bill was about $20-$25 pa'anga, or roughly $10-$12.50 US dollars, while our electric was rarely over $50 pa'anga or $25 dollars. At home the water runs over $60, and the electric can easily exceed $300 in extreme months.
OK, enough about fears. Let's talk about blessings. A much better topic if you ask me, and one I spent a lot of time focusing on over the past several months. Let me begin with my health. I have lost roughly 40 pounds without any deliberate dieting. Sure, our diet was quite simple, but I didn't starve myself, and ate fruit as often as I could. I've also had no kidney stones, which calls for a big HALELUJIA! I've had a few pinches in the kidney region, which reminded me to take my supplements, but no stones. Most who know me know what a big deal this is for me. My back, although still achy, allows for longer periods of walking or biking, and allows for a full night's sleep. My teeth, while still jagged and broken, have not ached at all. I've bitten my tongue, cheek, or lip a few times and tasted the results, but no tooth-aches. Physically I feel considerably younger than I did 8 months ago.
Another blessing is the complete and unquestioning support I receive from Carolyn. Sure, I shared a few concerns earlier, but those are just in my head. I know she loves me, and that she supports my efforts and direction in life. I am quite certain there is nobody else alive on earth who would tolerate such an absence without as much as a complaint. In fact, she is backing my endeavors so much that she is preparing to bring Alex and join us in Tonga next year. I love you more than words can say Carolyn, and thank God every day that he gave you to me. I could not do this without you, and don't want to have to try to again. Two twenties couldn't hold a candle to you. (inside joke) Thank you for your undying love and support.
I'm blessed with a position that allows for me to share my love for our savior Jesus Christ, and where I can help young people do develop their personal relationships with Jesus as well. There is nothing more fulfilling than seeing 9 students get baptized in one day, and knowing that you at least had a minimal impact on their lives and helping them to make this decision. I have yet to determine if being selected as the Neiafu Kalia Pathfinder Club director for next year is a blessing or not, but I am certainly honored that the church has such faith in me. I am both excited and afraid to return and begin this venture. I hope and pray that I can live up to the expectations and responsibilities of such a duty. I am certainly blessed with a wonderful bunch of young people, and loving staff to support me throughout the Pathfinder season next year.
I'm also blessed with a sustained income that has allowed for me to take this adventure. Now, for those of you who love to criticize those who "live off the government", just hold your horses. If you want to debate with me once again why I get a check from the Government, we can do that another time. This is not the place. Just consider that when I joined the US Army, a contract was made between myself and the government. I would dedicate my services, and perhaps even my life to my country in trade for certain benefits. One of these was support for medical conditions and complications as a result of these conditions which incurred during my active duty service. I served my country, and would have re-enlisted and even perhaps retired from the service, but these medical conditions prevented this from being possible. If you ask me, this beats sitting at home feeling sorry for myself any ol' day.
And finally I am blessed with not only a supportive family, but a wonderful network of friends and extended family who have backed me up 100% of the way, and helped out at home in my absence. I could not have made it this far without all the kind and loving words, and actions, that have been offered by each and every one of you. There is no way possible for me to repay what you have given me, at least no way for me to repay you. Just know that not only I have noticed, but God has as well. I have no doubt that He cracks quite a grin seeing you love each other as He has loved you. That is what true friendship is about. I love you all more than I can express.
The one thing that brings me the most joy is that I know not only have I done what the Lord has commanded me in serving Him in Tonga, but that you have done so also in supporting me and my family. A few short weeks ago Mizpah Adventist High School held a week of prayer before final exams. Their theme song was "God Can Do Anything, With Anything". I would encourage that each and every one of you to take this deeply to heart. If He can part the waters for the Israelites, if He can protect His faithful followers from fire and beast, if He can help a young boy to defeat a giant. Well you get the point, I could go on and on. If He can do all of these things, just imagine what He can do with you! It matters not what road you have traveled, or what you did while you were there. It matters not what you've done, or who you've done it with. It matters not what decisions you have made in the past. The only thing that matters is the decision you make right now to give your life to Him. He can right any wrong. He can heal any hurt, He can lift any burden, Please allow Him to work miracles in your life, just as he's done in mine. He can literally do anything, with anything. I'm a prime example.
"God Can Do Anything
The Collingsworth Family"
God can do anything, with anything.He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything
He turns nothing into something.
He's the giver of life.
He's hope to the hopeless,
and sight to the blind.
And he makes impossible, possible.
When there's no other way.
He makes the blackest sin white as snow.
That's why we can say,
My God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything
He's the fairest of ten thousand,
my soon coming King.
Jehovah, Messiah,
the reason why I sing.
He's Alpha and Omega,
the beginning and the end.
My Savior and Redeemer,
He's my closest friend.
Oh, God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything
Oh, God can do anything, with anything.
He can heal any hurt, any suffering.
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything
Every cross, every care,
Every burden, He'll bear.
For anyone, anywhere,
God can do anything,
with anything
